It’s 7 o’clock on a Friday….

Sing that to the old Billy Joel song.    Keeping with the theme of the corporate world,  it is indeed after 7 pm on a Friday night, are you still working ?    Many folks are..  This is certainly not meant to knock the hard working citizens of this fine land, but as always I am here to offer some advice on the tiniest chance you may be working too much..   If you ain’t getting paid by the hour,  it ain’t worth it. Here are some signs that you should pay attention to in the future. I will lay this down like a quiz for workaholics.   If you answer at least 3 of them as “Yes that pertains to me”,  I highly suggest you run to the nearest pub and down a pint immediately.  Then I can help you with an alcoholic quiz next week :

The 10 signs you may be working too much :

  1. You strap your laptop to your chest when you shower so you don’t miss an e-mail
  2. Your last Happy Hour was 5th grade recess.
  3. You eat lunch standing up over a waste basket, sometimes forgetting to chew.
  4. Your car has not left the office parking lot since Christmas.
  5. Your last vacation was the company mission retreat in downtown Toledo.  It lasted only 2 days but you came up with the great mission statement of “Company Profits over Personal Health”
  6. Your family forgets to get you a birthday present. When you bring this up they immediately call the police reporting a stranger in the house.
  7. You wake up screaming in the night with your phone in one hand and an Excel spreadsheet stapled to your forehead.   You panic and dial in at 3 am for a 7 am conference call.  Better to be early than miss it.
  8.  Every time you go to shut down for the day you stop yourself and say “just 3 more hours….”
  9. The last sitcom you enjoyed in the evening to unwind was I Love Lucy.
  10.  You have ever referred to a co-worker as simpleton, ignoramus, clueless, cockamamie, dumb as a bunch of rocks, dumb as dog shit, know shit from Shinola, ride the short bus, sharp as a marble, thick as pig shit, thick as two short planks, dolt, doofus, dunce, nitwit, shit for brains, numbskull, imbecile, vacuous, dunderhead, twit, pillock, peabrain, birdbrain, blockhead, bonehead, buffoon, dumb as a bag of hammers, dumb as dirt, not the sharpest knife in the drawer, not the sharpest tool in the shed…….

Ok,  I got carried away with number 10 and I am not sure that has anything to do with working too much,  but it sure was a fun thing to do at what is now 8 pm on a Friday.

Here’s hoping you are reading this at home with family, friends, the dog ,  a strong drink , or a bowl of fruit if that suits you.   If you are reading it from the office, get the hell out of there now and tell that birdbrain next to you to do the same.

Have a great weekend,  and STAY OUT OF THE OFFICE !!!

zensarcasm

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