Greetings from OBX

This goes out to my friends at the Blue Whale,  keeping their sense of humor amongst the maddening waves of tourists…

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There are so many ways we greet each other every day.  We all have our favorites.

How are you, how’s it going, what’s going on, how’s it hanging, what’s going down, what’s up, what do you know, morning, evening, and the laziest one,  sup.

What I find the most fascinating is that we usually never get an answer, or if someone else does say something we are not listening.  If you are a guy,  you normally get a head nod as a reply, or perhaps a grunt.  Both are sufficient in the male world, as no one wants to talk anyway.  My personal favorite occurred when I was young, when an old timer would come in and say “What’s the good word?”  This freaked me out as I felt compelled to come up with a really good word.  It put instant pressure on me to have one handy every time I saw this guy.  And certainly I could not come back with just “purple”  or  “soup”.   It had to be a good word, didn’t it ?  And who was the keeper of the “good” words versus the average ones.   I studied up over the next week,  prepared to bedazzle the old geezer the next time I saw him.   I had a list of over 1,000 words ready to go, figuring this would be enough before the gnarled old crust dropped dead.    There he was,  “What’s the good word?”   I hit him with antiestablishmentatiarianism and I never saw him again..   Rumor has it that his new greeting was changed to sup.

The key here is to get people thinking,  wake them out of their daze and slumber.   My latest project is to have retort ready at the Blue Whale every time I walk in with a how’s it going and the return volley is “can’t complain”.   The age old reply is that you could, but no one would listen.   That is where I disagree.  I think you should complain, but at least come up with something original.    Anyone can complain about the economy or Obama or aliens taking over the planet.    Tell us what is on your mind at that moment.  Make it personal and make it disturbing so everyone in that room will remember you.  I would rather go out as that strange guy that complained about chafing in the crotch than saying nothing at all and fading into the sunset.   Tell someone that you don’t think the earth is wide enough, or you wish you had an extra layer of skin that you would call the nostradermis,  and if you had it, you could tell the future.  Say something to get others to scratch their heads, or at least call 911 as soon as you leave the room.

Got a complaint ?   I am here to listen, and can provide a suitable solution in fifty words or less, provided your complaint does not have the word Ebola in it..  That would probably take me 75 words….

2 thoughts on “Greetings from OBX

  1. lol!

    “How’s it going?”

    Well funny you ask – I have a massive hernia sticking out of my nut sack and can’t seem to get rid of the shits I’ve had for 2 weeks now. Smells like old eggs and dog fart.

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