It is 2016, and there is a lot of shit going on in the world now. A Presidential election where it feels like we have to vote for the last 2 people left that did not get picked for the kickball game, terrorist attacks on a weekly basis around the globe, we are shooting each other up in record numbers trying to prove whose life matters most, but that will not stop us from going outside and catching Pokemon on our phones.
I believe ALL of this is a distraction from the bigger issue, that it is now a Federal Crime to share your Netflix or HBO GO passwords. Holy binge streaming roadblocks Batman ! They can take away my right to vote, drink, or GMO labeling so the foods I eat are 3 times the size of when I was a kid, but they cannot take away my right to let you watch all 120 episodes of Lost on my account. For this, I will take my stand with remote in hand !
Netflix and HBO are not taking a stance on this, for obvious reasons. They are too busy filming their fine programming for next season.
I would like to see who gets assigned to enforce this in our hallowed halls of justice. The job title has been noted as Password Enforcer Unit To Radicate Indignant Derelicts, otherwise known as PEUTRID. This task force is being hired right out of college, given a badge, no money, but an unlimited supply of energy drinks and loaded weapons.
I have found the punishment list on a secret website called wearewatchingyoureverymove.com
1st offense – Your Netflix account is suspended for the weekend and you are given 3 VHS tapes of your choice, but failure to rewind them is still 50 cents per tape.
2nd offense – Life in Prison. You will get your own cell block, as none of the murderers or rapists will want anything to do with you.
3rd offense – You are forced to watch a constant loop of one of the finest shows ever made that was cut short to only 8 episodes, MANIMAL. You don’t believe me, check out this clip….. (The best part is the look on the Lion’s face, as if saying “they made this a fucking show ?)
Well don’t say I did not warn you. I am always looking out for people’s best interests. Actually it is dogs first, and people 2nd.
Be careful out there if you decide to share a password with a loved one, a complete stranger, or a man who turns into a baboon. But DO NOT STOP sharing, otherwise , the terrorists win..