You have planned it, prepared for it, gone the extra mile, made the sacrifices you needed to make, put in your time, paid the price, paid your dues, sang the blues, stayed up late, got up early, bided your time, burned the midnight oil, fought the good fight, gave the devil his due, worked overtime, towed the line, committed no crime and stopped on a dime.
You made it to the top, left nothing on the field, sweated and toiled and your pants might even be soiled.. ok, that was a bit inappropriate but I am trying to make a point here.
A popular saying is that it is not about reaching the end of the road, it is about the journey it took to get there, or something like that. I say it IS about the end of the road, as it is about time to get out of the car and finally enjoy your life. To illustrate that, I give you this :
Stop trying so hard, and enjoy your damn life already. Before the thing is bloody over…..
While I work on the new book, this is what I do when I need to take a break…..
The Land of the Ridiculous – seeing the world in a different way, every single day.
Take time out of your day for only 5 minutes and wonder why we do things the way we do. Question everything, and nothing is off limits. And on those days when you cannot think of anything, come here and I will help you along.
Enter a world where up is down, right is left, and anything you can dream up can happen. A place where imagination grows like a weed that never gets sprayed by a pesticide. A town where children do not have to listen to their parents, and every time they do they get paid for it. Without taxes taken out. A city where cursing does not take place and is replaced by phrases such as “darn the luck”, “curses, foiled again” and “woe is me”. Schools begin at 11:45 and dismiss at 1:00 pm, and you get an hour for lunch. Your fifteen minutes of learning consists of adding 7 plus 12 and then identifying the capital of Ohio. Done. The school bus ride home blares music of every favorite song ever written and the bus driver is a cool dude with a big tattoo that says “I feel pretty”. To make things more interesting for the little tikes, the bus only slows down to 10 miles an hour and at the bus stops our little darlings are asked to jump and roll. No one is allowed to sue anyone for anything, unless it involves a blow torch.
There are 9 days in every week and you only have to work on alternating Suesnesdays. The concept of time was thrown out in the Year 614-7, and replaced the number of times a day the two Suns collide. There is no need for alcohol as the air is filled with massive chemicals that will get you drunk, high, hungry and sleepy all in the same hour, which is now marked as 787 minutes so it lasts longer.
Money was abolished due to boredom and now everyone exchanges clothing if they want to conduct business. That way you never have to give back change and at the same time never have to do laundry. Why just yesterday I bought a new chicken for a pair of blue jeans and a sock. When it comes time to do your taxes at the end of the year in Decebrualy, you can mail the IRS a cardigan sweater and the deal is done.
Speaking of chickens and livestock in general, they are considered off limits for eating ever since it was discovered that eating animals made you come back in the next life as an animal. If you don’t believe me, see you in the next life brother, and keep one eye open at all times.
As you enter the village there is a huge suggestion box that is used by all of the villagers, and once a month a suggestion is randomly pulled and made into law immediately. There are no questions asked and violation of said law means you can never create another suggestion. As impractical as this sounds, last week it was declared that you must eat ice cream every day without using a spoon. Messy ? Perhaps but you will get no complaining from me. Also gives me incentive to sell more of my dirty clothing.
On our next episode of Land of the Ridiculous, we will explore how to eliminate both TV commercials and telemarketers legally, and without using a blowtorch.
Ground has been broken on my latest book, currently called “The Year I Turned 50”, subject to change as that is what writers do..
What is the book about you ask ? A reflection back on 50 years to see what occurs to you from the second you come out in 1964 to where you are now in 2014. This world has many “interesting” influences, some good, some not so good that tend to shape the person you turn into.
This is my story, not too far different from what may be your story, filled with childhood recollections and bad decisions that young boys make that get them into trouble on a regular basis. It is about growing up on bikes and in alley ways that twist and turn in so many directions, leading you out to an adulthood where you are constantly looking for ways NOT to grow up and do what you are told.
The innocence of your childhood gets taken away at some point, for some it happens earlier than others. This is my attempt to get it back, and if it shows one person the pathway to do the same, it will all be worth it.
Off we go………be sure to put the air in your tires first….