Breaking News !!

EARTH TO COLLIDE WITH NIBIRU ON NOVEMBER 21, 2012!

 

 

 

UPDATE: NASA scientists have reportedly confirmed that the planet Nibiru will collide with Earth in November of this year.

The Nibiru collision with Earth in 2012 has been predicted for a long time, but astrophysicists, cosmologists, mathematicians, librarians, beauticians, physicians, nutritionists, botanists, lobotomists and astronomers around the world have now come to a consensus that Earth will indeed collide with the planet, which lies just outside Pluto.

In other news, the Cleveland Meth Heads have won the World Series

Butter is declared good for you, and can also be used to make explosives

Football is now considered dangerous for your health but will continue because people still like it and it makes tons of cash

Dogs are smarter than humans, they are just fucking with us

And on the human interest side of news, there is none.

This breaking news has been brought to you by the residents of Nibiru,  whose motto is :    We’re not here to make friends.  Annihilation is our middle name.

 

Christmas or Armageddon ? You decide

I am in a bit of a pickle.  We are 3 weeks away from Christmas, and while I should be preparing for that fine day, I can’t get out of my head that the world may end 4 days prior.

Shall I deck the halls with boughs of holly,  or stockpile firearms after the world is destroyed ?

Do I spread Christmas cheer for all to see and hear, or do I run for the hills screaming obscenities and prepare to meet my maker ?

I could go a wassailing among the leaves so green,  or I could dig a trench fill it with cement and cower in there eating nuts and berries for the next 5 years.

Perhaps some cheery Christmas cards of me and the family smiling and wishing glad tidings and to all a good night,  or a quick note to all to prepare yourself to be eaten by zombies ?

Such is my quandary, do I prepare for this ?

Or this  ?

Merry Christmas Charlie Brown  ?

Or get the fuck to an underground shelter Charlie Brown ?

More to come, or will there be ?