Summer at the beach !

My dog Summer decided that a summer without going to the beach was no summer.

She decided that if I was not going to take her this year, (for which she is still pissed) that she would take it upon herself to get there.  After hitchhiking hundreds of miles and partying with some of the east coast’s finest, the following pictures of her vacation are submitted for your enjoyment.

Yes, it is evident Summer is enjoying her summer.  I hope the rest of you out there are as well.  You need to enjoy your summer the way Summer does or your summer will be wasted, right Summer ?

 

 

 

Where did everybody go ?

Some of you may be asking, where did Tom and Summer go ?  Others may be enjoying the peace and quiet, and several of you may be saying, “Who gives a shit?”.

But the question remains, what has become of Tom and Summer now that we are halfway through summer ?

Some possibilities include :  Zombie apocalypse, brainwashed by a religious cult, and joined the army. Hahahahahahahahahahahahhaha..  Sorry, imagining myself in those last 2 really cracked me up.

The true story is simply a 10 day trip down to the Outer Banks with my awesome wife.  If you have never been there, get yourself there.  And if you have, you know what I mean.

So where are we now? The first copy of Stories for Boys has been approved as of last night and the publisher should have it ready for public consumption this week.

We did not take Summer to the beach with us and she has not taken it well.  She has not spoken to me in days and then decided to have a litter of baby tigers.  Don’t ask…

Anyway, we are back and you will be hearing from me and Summer more frequently in the days ahead.  Now get off the computer, get out in that summer air, and eat some ice cream before it all melts from global warming.

Tom

Salutations from Summer

Greetings humans, it is I, Summer, here to enlighten you as I have deliberated vociferously over many volumes learning your language. Proof of said education is offered thusly.

I find much of your so called intelligence severely lacking in merit and in morality. You seem to treat each other much in the way I would treat the proverbial rabbit if it happened upon my domain within reach of my incisors.

All I can say is you need to care for each other in a manner suiting the species that you are supposed to be.  Shall I suggest this ?

And perhaps not so much of this ?

Perhaps some day you humans will catch up to my new found sophistication.  Now please excuse me while I go defecate in Father’s automobile.

A big thank you to U2 !

Thanks to U2 for writing the theme song to Stories for Boys a good 30 years ago.

Stories for Boys

All of you U2 fans will get a big kick out of how young they all look.  My favorite part is all of the hair.   I just hope they do not sue me for using the title…

There’s a place I go and I am far away
There’s a TV show and I can grow
Sometimes the hero takes me
Sometimes I don’t let go
Hello, hello

There’s a picture book with coloured photographs
There’s a comic strip that makes me laugh
Sometimes the lady takes me
Sometimes I don’t let go
Hello, hello

Stories for boys, stories for boys
Stories for boys, stories for boys

There’s a place I go and it’s a part of me
There’s a radio and I will crawl
Sometimes the hero takes me
Sometimes I can’t let go
Hello, hello

Stories for boys, stories for boys
Stories for boys, stories for boys

Stories for Boys – The Cover is here…

I am excited about the look of the cover and the laughter you will find inside..

How excited? Well if any of you have met my dog Summer and have seen how she gets when you come for a visit, that is about the level, minus the bladder issues.

Here is the completed front and back cover.  It won’t be long now.. They just have to ship the book to me for approval and off we go…

Fritz approved cover

Stories for Boys – The Cover

The book is completed with the publisher and we are just awaiting the final decision on a cover.  Still working with the designer on that one.   Here are a few that I was considering that were not quite “appropriate”, but might give you an idea of what the book is going to be about. I have added the ultimate reason why I did not go with each one.

Going with this one could taken away my shot at Father of the year.

This one could have had women slapping me for the rest of my life.

There are several poems in the book with this theme but the gut was too disgusting.

Not good for a book cover, but you may see me getting the T-Shirt

Almost went with this,  the immature male is what I am looking for.

We are almost there !   When I approve the final cover I will post it up here !!

Tom

Me is bak, will rite for pizza crusts

Daddee tellz me tamarrow will be very loudly as huumans make lots uv noyse blowing shit up.  He sayz it iz to celebrate being indeependent frum some uther huumans that used to live across that big water thing called oshun.

Sounds pritty silly to me. I like all my dog frends, I sniff there butt and we are frends forever.  Why wuld I leeve them ?

Daddee says it wuz doo to this thing called taxus ?  Wen some won starts taxing me to live here, let me know where the catz live, cus I am mooving in with them.

Have fun blowing crap up, singing silly songs and waving yore flag tamarrow.  I here our flag iz the bestest one in the wurld.

Save sum burgurs for me…

Summer

Where in the hell is the 2nd book ?

A Glimpse into the Stories for Boys phenomenon : Ready when the cover is done this week !

“A raw, visceral account of the creatures that are men, written in a simplistic form of poetry that promises never to use the word visceral. In this book, you will find rhyming with incredible timing, limericks on how men piss off chicks, haikus written for dudes, and sonnets that could make you vomit. Tales about males that you have never read before guaranteed to leave the reader laughing and wanting more.”

More importantly, tomorrow, Summer is Back !  Not the season of summer, that has been here since June 21st,  I am talking about my dog Summer…… (If you don’t get this by now, I have some cool picture books for you without any words in them!!)  She is itching to get back to the keyboard…..