Let me see if I have this straight.
You may have voted for Trump because you wanted him to win.
You may voted for Trump because you wanted Hillary to lose.
You may have voted for Hillary because you wanted her to win.
You may have voted for Hillary because you wanted Trump to lose.
You may have voted for Bernie Sanders because you did not want either one to win.
You may have voted for your neighbor’s cat Fudgey to make a point that you do not like any human.
You may have voted for your legally insane Uncle Stu’s imaginary friend Wolfgang, in the hopes the aliens would notice and then pick you up at the hangar you built in your backyard.
Well here we are, three months later, no one is happy (except for comedy writers) and everyone wants to tear someone a new asshole. In fact, there is a good chance this will become a new reality show on the Anatomy Reconstruction Channel this spring.
There is unrest in the forest
There is trouble with the trees
For the maples want more sunlight
And the oaks ignore their pleas.
Here is a glimpse of our tree : Male, Female, Caucasian, African-American, Hispanic, Latino, Asian, American Indian, Republican, Democrat, Independent, Libertarian, Conservative, Liberal, Heterosexual, Homosexual, Bi-Sexual, Bi-Curious, Asexual, Metro-sexual, Lower Class, Middle Class, Upper Class, No Class, White Collar, Blue Collar, Redneck, Green Card, Yellow Belly, Purple Heart, Christianity, Judaism, Episcopalian, Rastafarian, Baptist, Lutheran, Methodist, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Mormon, Scientologist, Atheist, Agnostic, Senior Citizen, Millennial, Gen-Ex, Baby Boomer, Meat Eater, Vegetarian, Vegan, Pollotarian, Pescatarian, American, Canadian, Mexican, European, Australian, Russian, Indian, Nostafarian. (I know I missed at least 2.7 billion people, but hey, who wants to read a novel?)
The trouble with the maples
(And they’re quite convinced they’re right)
They say the oaks are just too lofty
And they grab up all the light
But the oaks can’t help their feelings
If they like the way they’re made
And they wonder why the maples
Can’t be happy in their shade
Here’s some labels you get just for showing up and playing the game : Mother, Father, Brother, Sister, Son, Daughter, Uncle, Aunt, Cousin, Frousin, Mother In Law, Father In Law, Son in Law, Daughter in Law, Grandma, Grandpa, Mammy, Grammy, Poppy, Pappy, Granny and Slappy, Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Fiance, Husband, Wife, Significant Other, Plus One, Infant, Baby, Toddler, Child, Adolescent, Teenager, Young Adult, Regular Adult, Twenty Something, Thirty Something, Forty Something, One hundred and Something.
For those who hate the unemotional Significant other or Plus One, I give you : She’s my baby, baby cakes, baby doll, ball and chain, better half, BFF, bitch, boo, bum chum, chick, daddy, flame, home skillet, lady love, hunny, lovebird, main squeeze, missus, old lady, old man, pardner, piece, pookie, schmookie, cabookie, puppy love, sweetie, trophy wife, lovers for life.
There is trouble in the forest
And the creatures all have fled
As the maples scream ‘Oppression!’
And the oaks just shake their heads
So what do we make of all the labels we give each other to keep us separate? I will take the above list and below is the category or box that I will admit I fall into : Male, Caucasian, Heterosexual, I would be a Metrosexual except I hate to wear pants, Mipple Class, Cathiest, The Last Baby Boomer, Pescatarian American, who is a Brother, Father, Cousin, Uncle, Son, Son In law, Father in Law, Husband, Fifty something, I am not a Pookie but on a good day I can be a Schmookie.
Now you may have noticed that I did not list anything poltical, and for that I give you the right to call me a bleeding heart, bloviate, conchie, dittohead, front runner, hard shell, Joe the Plumber, Kool Aid drinker, Limousine Liberal, loose cannon, Minarchist, Mossback. Panda Hugger, Peacenik, Policy Wonk, Politainer, Pundit, Rapatvist, Security Mom, Sheeple, Slacktavist, Swing Voter, or Wonk.
Feel free to go through the above and see where you land. It may make you feel you are very different from me, but I have news for you, you are NOT. Except for the wearing pants part.
Let’s let Rush close this one out, and if you get a chance, listen to the song. It says more in 5 minutes than anything else I have seen in the past 3 months…….
So the maples formed a union
And demanded equal rights
‘The oaks are just too greedy
We will make them give us light’
Now there’s no more oak oppression
For they passed a noble law
And the trees are all kept equal
By hatchet, axe and saw