A new resolution

Here in 2017,  these are the things that make me happy :  The smile of a child, a day spent in the wild, the wag of a dog, sitting on a log. A breeze that is warm, an approaching storm, the laugh of my wife, stopping to appreciate my life.

These are the things that make me sad :  A nation divided, a child being scolded, anyone who is lost, winning at all costs.  Feeling disjointed, wandering around without an appointment,  seeing a picture that is leaning,  hoping that at the end my life has had some meaning.

A new year is here, and with it the time to get serious about seeing this world for the humorous potential it has.   I am tired of the whining, crying, excuses and misuses, of the tears and the fears,  where will this go and what will I do ?   We all have to sludge through the earth plane for some amount of time.  Some of us got out early,  some way too early.  Let those that did blaze the trail for the rest of us to see what truly matters.

I have been bouncing ideas for a book for some time,  there are bounces that barely get off the ground, and every once in a while the ball jumps off the page and goes high into the sky,  seeing the potential one can do if they get themselves out of the way and let the ideas come.    That is the challenge for all of us.    And this is the challenge I set before me.

Show the world where the fun is.  Everyday, every place, every instance.  Take the gloves off and tell it the way you know how.   It is also easier to type that way.

Off I go, and where it takes me I do not know.  But I will be writing for you,  but more importantly, I will be writing for me.   Some things you know about yourself way deep inside that are true,  and I need to get in there and let it come out to feel truly free…

Time to stop fucking around and get it done…. there is more to come,  so much more to come….  This is only a small taste,  but I am hear to tell you ,  this world IS a funny place….

December 28th, 2016

Only 3 days to go,  and the Year’s in review start to pour in.  What happened in 2016 ?   What were the amazing events that took place,  the good,  the bad, the ugly,  the accomplishments,  the extraordinary feats, the stories of victory over evil, of amazing tales of courage and strength that made us stand up and shout,  and then we get the the list of everyone who died.   And that,  usually after a commercial break sponsored by a drug that will cure you of 7 things as long as you don’t mind the side effect of not being able to breathe.   But where was I ?  2016, and what everyone else did.  Shut that thing down !  And by that any I mean any screen of any size that connects you to the outside world that makes you feel like whatever you did this year was not important !

Take a look back, a real look,  and you will no doubt find at least 12 ways that you helped someone else’s life,  perhaps with a smile,  a simple nod of understanding,  holding a door open, or being an alibi when someone decided to skip out of the country.  It is not necessarily a requirement to have solved the most complex equation,  performed open heart surgery,  or saved the world from either an air born virus or a stampede of politicians,  we all make differences in ways that collectively make this planet the livable habitat it is,  no matter how many people still think that carpeting is a good idea.

Take an hour tonight and think back as to how you made a difference,  You made a group laugh, or cry, or collectively want to exile you from your town, whatever it was,  you will be remembered for what you did in 2016.

And keep in mind,  if you get nothing, absolutely nothing to come up,  you still have 3 days left. I have a few ideas for you that will not only get you remembered as making a difference,  you may also need to leave the country in 2017.  Not to worry,  I got your alibi covered.

Today’s inspirational nugget :

Dream big, but be sure you went to the bathroom first.   Work hard, 45 minutes ought to do it. Stay focused, day dreaming helps. Surround yourself with good people,  especially one that knows how to cook and can get you a passport in less than an hour.



December 27th, 2016

A mere 83 days from spring,  let’s embrace winter like we would an old relative that we never cared for and only saw twice a year.

There is much to look forward to !   A mere 4 days from now we will get to ring in the New Year,  hopefully amongst friends and family,  friends who feel like family,  or family that we wish were friends.   What are your plans this year?    A raucous night on the town filled with rabble rousing and violent shenanigans ?    Or a quite evening of scrabble and your favorite sedative ?    Perhaps something in between that is fun,  interesting, and at least legal where you live.

The end of the year is often a time to take pause in the past year, to reflect on what you accomplished,  and pontificate on how much your friends and family let you down.   A trip down memory lane to take account of the things you saw and learned,  and a look ahead to 2017 to make sure the things you did learn are put into practice.    It all starts with cheating on your taxes..  But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.    Let’s begin with a look back in 2016 to see what you are most proud of !

Perhaps you did nothing more than clean out the old tool shed.  At least you got rid of all the evidence !

Maybe you learned a new custom,  or a native language never spoken in your neighborhood before.   Think of all the expletives you can now get away with !

This is not meant to depress you.  Everyone has a different outlook on what they consider a “productive’ year.    You bought a new house !   You had a new baby !   Your rose bushes won “best flower”  at the town fair !     You kept the authorities at bay for the 5th year running !       Way to go !     I will stop using exclamation points now…..

Take the next 4 days and skim over all that was 2016.   Feel free to put your highlights in the comments section here, or on the Facebook post where this winds up.   There is no “better than” answer.  Constructing an entire town with only mud and old clothing is just as important as spending your entire year watching Ice Capades reruns.    I’d like this to be as interactive as possible so we can all see how truly unique and fucked up we all are !

We only have about 100 hours left in this calendar year, plenty of time to reflect and share the many accomplishments that make the human race the embarrassment that it is to all of the other civilizations in the universe.    I know you can do it !

Another Festivus miracle..

No sooner did I post on changing your outlook on life by being positive,  when the universe sends me these photos below.

We’ve been trying to help Tracy find a new home,  and as you can see,  he is doing quite well at his new foster home..     There are things and events in this world that make you smile,   this just did it for me…..

Winter is coming.

You ever have one of those days that you cannot shake the doldrums?  It may be cloudy and damp or dark and gloomy,  the fog may be rolling in and the thought of going outside makes you cringe?  You have nothing particularly interesting planned and you are one of those types that cannot let a day going by without doing a lot of stuff and keeping busy.

Today is one of those days.   Christmas has come and gone and brings with it the inevitable letdown.  Here we are the day after and yet today is the observed holiday for Christmas,  since it fell on a Sunday.  Feels a bit strange doesn’t it?   I will take the day off of course but it feels like a limbo day,  with nothing planned,  nothing to do and nowhere to go. This will happen again a week from now as New Year’s will come and then we will have January 2nd off.

Now that I sufficiently depressed all of you,  let’s shake ourselves out of it.   We all get days like this at one time or another,  the key is not letting it bring you down, or worse,  all of the others around you.  Winter is coming, and there can be some bone chilling,  mind numbing Debby Downer causing days ahead.   In order to combat this,  I invite you to come back here every day between now and the first day of spring,  where I will attempt to provide a spark,  a saying,  an anecdote, a poem,  a list, a soliloquy, a poem,  a photo, an inspirational sentence or paragraph to break the ice off of you,  melt that mood of yours and lift you up to see what the world can bring if you only shift your view.

We will start by not talking about the 2016 election.

So let’s begin today, the day after Christmas,  (or Day 3 of Hanukah) ,  or Boxing Day ,  or the first day of Kwanzaa.  Straight away you can see there are many other customs to celebrate, and no need to be down in the dumps that Christmas is over.   It helps to show up at those other parties both uninvited and unannounced bringing gifts or large quantities of alcohol.

Let’s look ahead to the New Year of 2017, and look forward to 5 days from now when we celebrate the ringing in of another year sure to disappoint the hell out of us by January 15th.    But see,  I just caught myself.    Keep it positive,  keep it light,  keep your humor and keep your car running at all times.

Today is the first day of the rest of our lives.  One of my personal favorite sayings only because we will be able to say the same thing tomorrow.  Nothing like recycling the same saying over and over.

From here on out,  starting tomorrow,  the sayings and inspirations are all my own.  They may make you laugh,  they may make you cry,  they will certainly make you think I am crazy.      Mission accomplished.    I leave you today with an inspirational saying and   photo.  I find myself living by this credo every day.

Until tomorrow,  keep your chin up, but not too far up or you will run into that door that just closed.

The good boy is back !

I ran into an old friend today.  Things did not work out for him at his new home,  so he decided to leave.  Hey, that happens to all of us at some point.   We need to move on and find someone or someplace better.

Did he remember me?  If he could have broke down the door to the outside world he would have, and within seconds we were off and running alongside the mighty Atlantic,  finally calm after the storms have passed, with nothing but a few fishermen to nod to,  and plenty of birds to chase.  Tracy was back,  a bit battle weary from what life has thrown at him,  but full of energy and ready to forget and forge ahead to new and greater experiences.   If only humans were that good at seeing the bright side of life.    I believe he would have run north all the way to Virginia if I had let him, as he looked at me reluctantly on our turn back home.  We paused only long enough for him to roll around in the sand, where he would bounce back up and look for the next bird to pursue.

When we got back inside was when it really got me.   We spent some time on a couch where he let me hug and pet him and he sang his songs of approval. He washed my face with his appreciation, in the best way that only dogs know how to do.

Fear not Tracy, the home you deserve is ahead of you, where the love you give will be equally matched by the person lucky enough to call you their owner.



Should I stay or should I go now ?

Sing along with me Clash fans…. If I go there will be trouble, An’ if I stay it will be double.

Such was the dilemma this week when Matthew came to town.

And that it how it started.  Is the storm coming, is it not coming?   Will it go to the Gulf of Mexico, or Florida, or Georgia, or South Carolina, or come straight here, or go out to sea, or all of the above and then loop back around and give everyone the finger from mother nature again?   All of these options were on the table as the week began,  and the changes that occurred were not only daily,  but several times per day.   I was expecting a snow storm to break out at some point.

Who do you listen to? Who do you watch? Who do you follow on the internet?  Is it the Weather Channel,  Weather Underground, Accuweather, Your local news, Hurricane City, The Farmer’s Almanac,  the ants building huge ant hills for elevation, the birds taking flight for Oklahoma, or your Uncle Larry’s arthritic joints that tell you the big one is coming ?

I chose all of them and developed a grid that charted each and every moment from every source I could gather, taking plot points of latitude, longitude, tidal charts and lunar cycles, I even threw in the new zodiac sign of Ophiuchus (look it up) and built that in.   When I was finished I not only knew where the hurricane was going,  I could predict who would win the presidential election (don’t ask) and who would win the next 5 Super Bowls. (It’s not Cleveland)  The only problem I had with my genius plotting was that the hurricane was going to hit somewhere between the Florida Keys and Nova Scotia.   I took solace in knowing that at least I ruled out both the West Coast and Battle Creek, Michigan.

Next up was determining the strength of the storm.  I was confident in my decision skills that we would stay with a light breeze and showers,  and if it did become biblical feet of rain and 200 mph winds that we would get the fuck out.   But where to go, where to go ?

I ruled out going east right away as that was the ocean and I did not feel that Portugal was practical.  South was in the direction the storm was coming from, and Mama raised no dummy to head that way.   So we could go West or North, but how far West and North?  As we ended up seeing, the rain and wind extended in both of those directions as well,  so unless I was going to Wyoming or Canada,  nothing felt safe.

In the end, we stayed.  If you leave, you cannot get back, and such is the state on the island now.  We are in curfew, martial law, socialism, and I do believe that vinyl records have come back.  Despite the conditions today, and they are dire for many,  I still think I heard the ice cream truck making its rounds through the town..

As the winds howl outside tonight I am grateful I am with my family, and have a roof over my head.  That cannot be said for many,  and my heart goes out to those in Haiti.  It also goes out to those on Hatteras Island currently without power and dealing with flooding. These events make you appreciate what you have, and if anything I wrote above made you laugh and forget about this storm for one minute,  I will have done my job.

At the end of today, the sun dropped from the clouds.  Tomorrow is another day and the sun will rise.  We will dry out and recover, better than ever.    I believe that more than any weather forecast, as the resiliency of those that call this island home is unlike anything I have ever seen.

Now, about that election…..